Posted on Sunday, December 12, 2010, at 9:36 PM
I'll be off to Switzerland in a couple of days, and next year I'll be moving to Melbourne. This will be my final post here, because this blog is past it's sell by date, because it's a new beginning and a fresh start in my life, because I'm lazy. But I'm not going to delete it, I think this encapsulates my past four years very nicely and serves as a good reminder of where I came from, and of a previous life where I had the time to blog every single day. Heh.This year has not been the year I would have liked it to be. A good 9 months of it was spent apart from my friends and people who love me, and apart from God. I was pretty miserable, and pretty caught up in my studies and with the world. But I'd like to think it all wasn't wasted and that I've learnt things from it.
I've learnt how to strike that delicate balance, between being reliant on my friends, being reliant on God and being reliant on myself. I've learnt that there are some things about myself I can't change and I've got to accept. I've starting to live with myself, so that I can live with others, and being satisfied with my lot.
I've stopped perpetuating the mentality that the grass is always greener on the other side. It lingers, sometimes, but in the areas where it truly matters I have grown to see how I am so blessed. I finally see, better late than never, that I don't need anything other than what I've got, because what I have now in my life is just more than enough, I am surrounded by so much love.
And I've learnt one more thing, and I think it is a lesson I will continue to learn, and it is that God is everything. He really is everything. He just fills up all the crevices, all the emptiness. He gives me joy. He causes all things to fall into place, He makes everything better. He's planned my future for me. Most of the year was spent without God. Now that I am trying once again to walk with God, I realise how much was missing from my life. God is everything, He really is.
I can't believe I'm leaving Singapore. I'm scared, and I'm excited. Time waits for no man and is thus sweeping me along with alarming alacrity, to whatever awaits me next year. There are periods where time ebbs and flows, and there are periods where time just hurtles along and I think right now it's the latter. I'm just going to go with it and I know that I'm going to be okay. It's a new season (:
And I guess this is for closure. As corny as it may seem I think I'll dedicate this last post to Elaine. Because all through the years I've known her she's never given up on me, in spite of, well, everything. And I think she taught me how to live with myself. In every sense of the word, she truly is my sister. ♥